Women Seeking Men
“The handsome peacock is indeed impressive, but don’t just envy his beautiful feathers, take a good look at his feet too.”
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
you are not going to meet the prince … if you stay at home.
singlehood is not a second class position … it offers many opportunities to discover who you really are outside of your roles as daughter, mother, wife, etc … It provides freedoms that you do not have when you are in a relationship.
do not be a woman who makes a career of falling in love with malignant narcissists … As long as you are attached to one, you will not be happy.
all of his POTENTIAL … and $4.75 will get you a cup of coffee.
it is permissible to give your prospect a second chance … but you are a fool if you give him a third.
you cannot change him … no matter how smart you are, or how motivated you may be to do so. He is the only one who can change himself.
it really is OK to ask him out … if he doesn’t think so, move on.
from the moment you meet your date … be yourself! If he does not like who that is, do not take it personally and move on to your next prospect.
generally speaking … bad boys and boy toys make great dates but not great mates.
bars are meat markets … only go there if you are looking for meat.
for those of you who have not dated extensively … go out with as many men as possible. Each rendezvous will be a good learning experience.
do not waste … your valuable time on someone who is not into you.
if he is a hunk … he may be more interested in devoting his time to what he looks like than who he is. Sometimes this is not the case. Some people are just naturally striking, however, it is good to assess which it is before diving in too deep. If you want a man of substance pay special attention to what he has developed inside.
if all women insisted on good men … men would be forced to take the road of wanting to be a better man. Many men make the choice to grow because they love a certain woman who will not tolerate his bad behavior.
playing hard to get … is manipulative and dishonest.
consider a date from hell … an experience and good practice.
most men who act like jerks … do it because women let them!
having your heart broken in the past … is not an excuse to avoid venturing out again.
do not sacrifice any part of yourself … to any man. It will thwart your self-love.
the best ways to meet men are to … tell your friends, relatives, co-workers etc., that you are ready to be introduced to someone. Also, join organizations that interest you (athletics, politics, wildlife conservation).
toads … may be exciting, charming, smart, and very hard to resist … but they are still toads.
never break a date with a woman friend to go out with a man … It is your women friends who will remain by your side through trials, tribulations and heartbreaks.
you will chase him away if you start talking about marriage or kids too early … Stop being so concerned about getting married and start being more focused on the quality of the relationship. If it is meant to be, he will propose.
don’t … settle!
opposites attract … but like kinds generally make better long-term mates.
when he has proposed and you have accepted … stop concentrating so much on the wedding day and start focusing on the marriage to be.
getting involved with married men is a disaster … This is a waste of your precious time. In this triangle there is always waiting and you are the one doing it. He may tell you that he is getting a divorce, has lived in a separate bedroom and not had sex with his wife for 10 years. Despite all his proclamations, he generally will not leave his wife to be with you. And if he does, he comes with a huge amount of emotional baggage. And do not convince yourself that he is safe to date if he is physically separated. Bottom line, he is still married.
do not deny or ignore the road signs … If you see some red flags, do not conclude that you will be able to change him or that those disturbing characteristics will disappear as the relationship matures. They will not! He will only change if he sees the problem and does not like what he sees. Everyone has “issues,” however, so you will have to decide whether the “issues” you uncover are deal breakers.
before you get too far into the relationship, determine whether he is available … The signs are evident at the beginning if you are looking for them.
if your pattern is to become involved with unavailable men … you may want to explore your own fears regarding intimacy and commitment.
it is a foregone conclusion that if you decide to venture into the world of prince-seeking you will experience fear … We fear being seen, we fear rejection, we fear being smothered, we fear the unknown. Fear is a constant companion. The trick is to be sure that it is not ruling you. And how do you manage fear? By doing what you are afraid of.
be careful not to confuse money with love … Just because he is spending money on you does not mean that he cares. Notice whether he is spending time, energy, and effort.
if you do not trust your prince … it may be time to consider moving on.
beware if you are putting more into the relationship than you are getting out of it … Most likely time will not change this dynamic.
if you were dumped … it is very tempting to take it personally. Don’t! Use the experience as a learning tool to discover what your part was in the relationship’s demise, so that you will not make the same mistakes in the future.
if he appears to be “too good to be true” … he probably is.
your prince cannot save you … or parent you either.
These nuggets are but a few from my NEW & REVISED Edition of Princes & Toads.